Third Party View

I don’t remember a time when Raiders of the Lost Ark didn’t exist. It’s almost as apart of my growing up as summer afternoons, however, I do remember both Temple of Doom and The Last Crusade’s release and every time I think of them I find it hard to separate them from other memories. I saw Temple of Doom for the first time on video in a cabin when going camping got rained out. And I can’t think of The Last Crusade without seeing my oldest friend’s face saying “He chose…poorly.” In some regards it’s difficult for me to be too hard on The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull just because Indiana Jones is so intertwined with my childhood, but at the same time its pedigree almost begs you to hold it a higher standard. You can’t just say that’s it’s just another summer action movie when it’s directed by the guy who created summer blockbusters with Jaws and the guy who wrote it created Star Wars. For that reason, to have a movie that fails on a fundamental story level is a huge disappointment.

Most of what makes Indiana Jones cool is the fact that Harrison Ford himself is cool and this is no less true in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Ford’s dry humor once again fits in perfectly with Indy’s man’s man machismo even while he carries a world weary, almost put upon streak. There are two fantastic bits of casting with the first being the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood. No one’s is going to argue that she isn’t the best female character in the series, much better than Kate Capshaw’s shrill Willie from Temple of Doom and The Last Crusade’s one note femme fatale, Alison Doody. Allen could easily go too far and become the brassy dame that everyone ends up hating, but instead she’s perfect as the one woman Indy cares enough about to let her get close enough to annoy the crap out of him. The other casting choice that is so good is Shia Labeouf as the switch blade toting, motorcycle driving greaser, Mutt. Aside from his entrance into the film, which was incredibly cool, there’s a scene when he first interacts with Indy in a diner that I knew he was perfect for the role. The chemistry and comic rhythm between Labeouf and Ford is absolutely spot on, leading to scenes that are wildly entertaining and flat out hilarious. With all this talk of Allen and Labeouf don’t be misled into thinking Cate Blanchett’s Irina Spalko is anything but enjoyable. She’s everything you’d want in a murderous communist dominatrix that’s obsessed with the occult. She’s evil, sexy and can hold her own in a sword fight while standing on the back of a Jeep. What more do you want?

If there was one thing I definitely wanted out of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull it was elaborate chases and action sequences and in that regard, they did not disappoint. Sure, it’s pretty obvious at times we’re watching a stunt double and I’m not sure why there such long stretches of parallel roads in the Amazon, but the action is clever andexciting so it’s pretty easy to get caught up in it. Besides, Ford is sixty-five years old, what did you expect? As much as I loved the jungle sword fight on speeding jeep, I personally loved the motorcycle chase through the college that has all the excitement and at the same time humor that make the series itself so great. There is also a scene with Mutt attempting to rescue Indy from quicksand that is flat out hilarious and only works because of Ford and LaBeouf’s sense of comedy being perfectly in tune.

When it comes to Indiana Jones we have certain expectations of what kind of things we are going to have to overlook. Overlook is probably not the exact word, but you know going in that there is going to be an undercurrent that isn’t entirely based in reality. Up until now this has been more in the realm of the mystical or supernatural, which is a perfect fit when you’re discovering ancient treasures. Having the Ark of the Covenant melt the faces of the Nazis who have hubris enough to dare look upon it or a centuries old crusading knight almost reluctantly keeping watch over the Holy Grail seems to somehow make sense. However, the moment you take ancient cultures and add science fiction it just doesn’t seem so much like Indiana Jones as it does Stargate. Imagine an audience’s reaction if at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark they found out the ark was actually an ancient battery for an inter-dimensional spaceship that flew off with Belloq and all the Nazis. I doubt there ever would have been a sequel and I wouldn’t be writing this now. Raiders of the Lost Ark would have been relegated to finding its audience with people renting VHS tapes along with The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

I hesitate to go into to much detail, but I find it hard to believe that it took twenty years for this script to be the one that was so damn good that Spielberg, Lucas and Ford settled on it. The science fiction aspect of the story isn’t necessarily the problem, it’s more the handling of it. In general the story is so convoluted that the only real point of John Hurt’s character, Profesor Oxley, is to explain everything as we go along. We spend far too much time having to stop for exposition and just generally over explain everything to the point that at the end Indiana Jones says the exact same line twice, but in a slightly different way just in case you’re too stupid to get it. Sadly, all this explaining still doesn’t get you any closer to understanding what the hell happens in the films climax. If some aspects of the story had been left to more of a “are they or aren’t they/is it or isn’t it” feel, everything would have played much better that it does. As it is, I almost feel like I’ve been duped into seeing Cats.

It would be hard for me to tell someone to not see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but I wouldn’t suggest anyone see it either. There’s about seventy-five percent of this film that I like, but I downright hate the other twenty-five percent. Basically if you’re a huge Indy fan or you want a mindless summer movie, then you’re going to see it anyway. Otherwise, I wouldn’t bother. I can’t fault anyone for wanting to make another Indiana Jones film, but the problems here are pretty much all in the script, so they knew what they had early on. Honestly to me it feels like all the things that are good about it are in there due to Spielberg and everything that is bad, including among other things Indy literally riding out an atomic bomb inside a refrigerator and what the crystal skull actually is, were all Lucas’s doing. I’ve never seen a man so unaware of why people like his work and so willing to screw it up. I knew Lucas was pushing for a script entitled Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men from Mars I just never thought I’d see it. Because of these things and the fact that The Last Crusade made for a perfect end to the series, when it comes to this franchise’s canon, this will be forgotten as anything other the launching point for Shia Labeouf’s foray into the series.

B-